4.30.2010

Another non-green wonder

Gem of the day

Policy innovation of the week goes to the BNP:

"The BNP would offer non-white British people £50,000 to leave "overcrowded" Britain and return to the land of their ancestors, the party's leader Nick Griffin said today. He said the scheme would be funded from the foreign aid budget and money the government is 'wasting at the moment on ridiculous climate change adaptation policies.'"

And who exactly are these 'non-white British people'?

"'If you are talking about Polish plumbers or Afghan refugees, the doors are going to be shut because Britain is full,' he added."

But wait, it gets even better. What about international laws and all that bizniz?

"Griffin said the BNP would be prepared to tear up international treaties in order to achieve its objectives. Asked what would happen if other countries reciprocated by not allowing British people in, Griffin replied: 'The last thing I saw there wasn't a queue of Brits trying to go to Albania or Somalia.'"

4.29.2010

Gem of the day


British American Tobacco, not surprisingly, takes a rather defensive approach to its CSR reporting. The introduction poses five hostile questions with nice glossy answers. My favorite is this one:

"Who would want to work for a tobacco company anyway?"

"We recruit people who enjoy working in a challenging environment and a culturally diverse organisation. We also work hard to provide a workplace culture in which people can thrive and reach their potential."

It's a corporate communications dream, a lesson in the fine art of evasion.

4.28.2010

Uber bonus-gem

International Petroleum Industry Environmental Conservation Association. It actually exists:

http://www.ipieca.org/

Bonus gem

GreenBiz should get a superlative gold star for running an article with this staggering headline today:

"Amtrak Trials First Cow-Powered Train"

Further accolades should also rain upon it for this opening paragraph:

"U.S. rail operator Amtrak may have given the term "cattle car" a whole new meaning with the first test of a biodiesel train that runs on beef byproducts."

Traveling between the great territories of Oklahoma City and Forth Worth will never be the same.

Gem of the day


Although the phenomenon of Earth Day 2010 has already passed, I just read Joel Makower's blog post, a prime reflection on the marketing bonanza, and feel compelled to reproduce one incredible nugget of his below:

"During the precise moment I was writing these words, an e-mail popped up in my in-box with a press release headlined: 'Innovative Ecofeminist Smart Phone App Aims to End Dry Cleaning Pollution for Earth Day.' I rest my case."

4.27.2010

Another non-environmental wonder



The faces of American financial regulation.




The faces of American finance.

Gem of the day


It's another sunny day for corporate commitments, as the Business Roundtable releases what I tend to think of as 'another one of those high-level best practices reports': Enhancing Our Commitment to a Sustainable Future.

In fact, while the Business Roundtable is certainly one of the better types of organisations that produce such reports, its introductory statement basically worships incremental innovation:

"Business Roundtable member companies are committed to working with policymakers, NGOs and consumers to make their communities stronger and more sustainable, their products greener and more innovative and their operations cleaner and more efficient."

Still, the ingeniously titled 'Enhancing Our Commitment' report is a must-read, if only to find out what companies like Anadarko Petroleum Corporation, Boeing, Chevron, Dow Chemical and--ah yes--Peabody have to say in their delightfully compact one-page statements, complete with the flourish of an executive signature.

Highlights:

Anadarko: "Energy is fundamental to physical existence."
Duke Energy: "Advocating fair and effective climate legislation."
Peabody: "As we chart the course for a sustainable energy future, our most powerful answer is coal."

4.24.2010

Another non-environmental wonder


Former Vice President Dick Cheney says telling Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.) to go “f—- yourself” was "the best thing I ever did."

Cheney told off Leahy in 2004 during a chance meeting at a photo op on the Senate floor. After Leahy questioned Cheney’s ties to the government contractor Halliburton, the vice president dropped the expletive.

Asked about the exchange during an interview Thursday on Dennis Miller’s radio show, Cheney at first laughed, as was recorded by the liberal blog Think Progress.

Then Miller cut in to say “I love that move,” calling it “one of my favorite stories.”

“You’d be surprised how many people liked that,” Cheney responded. “That’s sort of the best thing I ever did.”

4.23.2010

Bonus gem


"Conservative Leader David Cameron, who has had well-documented problems getting planning permission for a proposed wind turbine on his Notting Hill home, said that he had installed insulation at his home."

Gem of the day


More nauseating environmental jargon emanates from the marketing hubs of our finest multinationals.

Staples has launched its 2010 Green Guide online catalog that is geared specifically toward business customers, 'packed with products and eco-conscious ideas to help you reduce your impact'. And their branding concept? Staples EcoEasy (that's trademarked, by the way).

Best of all, see if you can count the number of qualifiers in the sentence below describing just what thesee 'eco-concious' product attributes might be:

"The 2010 Green Guide is filled with practical ideas and products that all meet our Staples EcoEasy criteria. Most products incorporate significant levels of recycled content, many meet environmental certifications, while others have design attributes we believe will help green your business."

4.22.2010

Another non-green wonder


It never ceases to blow my mind when the New York Times publishes photos like this one: Iran's supreme religious leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, addressing medical workers in Tehran on Wednesday.

Gem of the day


It's Earth Day. That means it's time to take a close look at what our friends at Monsanto are promising/hyping/gnashing their teeth about. In their own words:

"April 22, 2010 marks Earth Day, a day to reflect and appreciate the Earth’s environment. This day we recognize farmers, the original environmentalists. Farmers care for the land and strive to leave the land better for the next generation. Over the years farmers have adapted new technologies and agricultural practices that are more environmentally friendly and sustainable."

And what are these earth-saving practices, exactly? No-till systems, reduction of pesticides from use of genetically modified crops (Monsanto refers to them as 'insect-resistant') and reduced fuel use from less frequent applications of pesticides. All of which, Monsanto carefully writes, 'are believed to have led to significant reductions in greenhouse gasses'. Reductions, in fact, that Monsanto declares are the equivalent of taking 6,300,000 cars off the road for one year. What an analogy.

Here's another analogy: imagine the money Monsanto could save, as well as all those 'soft' intangible, social benefits it could reap, if it stopped suing farmers?

4.20.2010

Yet another bonus gem

More biodiversity wonder. At a Canadian conference this year, Biodiversity 2010 and Beyond: Science and Collections, one of the sponsorship opportunities includes placement of corporate logo on various 'promotional items', including...a 'conference water bottle'.

Another bonus gem

...in which we find out the sponsors for NatureServe Conference 2010, which is being held in conjunction with the International Year of Biodiversity and organized by multiple non-profit conservation organizations.

The Nature Conservancy, the US Fish & Wildlife Services, the National Park Service and...ExxonMobil and Chevron.

Bonus uber-gem


This is a rough one. Ever encounter a corporate strategy that exemplified the business case for sustainable development, the inevitable triumph of shameless and rapacious money-lust in multinationals, and the undeniable evidence of global warming--all at the same time?

Therein lies Beluga Shipping, a German firm that specializes in "super heavy lift" transport. It's an expensive business, but the company has recently found an innovative, money-saving venture: shipping freight through melting Arctic territory. Yes indeed, a gradually warming climate has been clearing pathways through formerly impenetrable ice, which Beluga ships can now navigate with ease. Revenue galore has ensued.

The cherry on the cake here is Beluga CEO Niels Stolberg's whopper of a perspective on the new route: Since the shorter passage requires generating far less C02, he figures, it's "greener".

Gem of the day

NRDC goes for the tired numbers game: Lame.

Center for American Progress goes for the ambitious but measurable Awesome.

4.19.2010

Gem of the day

Greenbiz today has a lively review of BP shareholders' decision to 'vote no on oil sands transparency'. Great headline.

Anyway, what stuck out most was the last paragraph:

"BP was recently ranked as the most sustainable big oil company by Two Tomorrows, which gave it a score of 59 percent out of 100."

Well there's a nice laugh--'most sustainable big oil company'. Why do these organizations even bother with that kind of ranking? But it gets better in the next paragraph:

"BP was also one of three companies to leave the U.S. Climate Action Partnership this year, but maintained that it was leaving only to change its approach to U.S. climate policy, not its stance on climate change."

Awkward.

Another non-green wonder


The Guardian's image of BNP leader Nick Griffin, accompanying an article today with the headline "Immigration is not fuel for BNP support – IPPR study: Social exclusion factors such as lack of qualifications and weak social cohesion far more important."

Explanation for why this is a gem is not needed.

4.16.2010

Gem of the day

More mind-blowing statements emanating from the hallways of our finest multinationals today. The Forest and European Union Resources Network (FERN) has released a report revealing that the EU's ecolabel has somehow allowed paper products to be certified that only require 10% of virgin fibres to be sourced from sustainably managed forests. And so here we have the Director of Sustainability for renowned Asia Pulp and Paper (seriously, what a job title), defending the company's use of the EU green logo for its 'eco-paper', manufactured by one of its subsidiaries and containing virgin timber logged from the Indonesian rainforest:

"APP is playing a crucial role as a development agency for the countries it operates in. [The Fern report] is ill-informed ... full of intent to undermine economic development in the developing world."

APP also described the report to The Guardian as representing a 'neo-colonial approach' which is 'immoral'.

Corporate communications in the area of radical transparency, folks: it harkens to mind the opening of "Singing in the Rain", where Gene Kelly reflects on his days plying his tap-dancing skills in back-country bars and says "Dignity, always dignity."

4.15.2010

Bonus gem


The panel of witnesses at the House of Representatives Select Committee on Energy Independence and Global Warming hearing, "The Role of Coal in a New Energy Age" yesterday: big coal's big four. Ah, diversity.

Gem of the day

Breaking news: According to a wondrous New York Times poll, the 18 percent of Americans who identify themselves as Tea Party supporters "tend to be Republican, white, male, married and older than 45."

And it gets better from there: "They are more likely than the general public, and Republicans, to say that too much has been made of the problems facing black people."

Wait! The quotes from Tea Partiers are even better: “I just feel he’s getting away from what America is,” said Kathy Mayhugh, 67, a retired medical transcriber in Jacksonville. “He’s a socialist. And to tell you the truth, I think he’s a Muslim and trying to head us in that direction, I don’t care what he says. He’s been in office over a year and can’t find a church to go to. That doesn’t say much for him.”

Did a senior citizen named Kathy really just call Obama a loser?

4.14.2010

Bonus gem

The board of directors of McDonald’s has recommended that the company’s shareholders vote against a proposal to require that 5 percent of the eggs purchased for the chain’s restaurants in the United States be the cage-free variety. Ironic, since across Europe the mega-chain uses 100% cage-free eggs. But you know those European consumers, they're just so much more ethical than their American counterparts. And so, wholesale rejection of the shareholder proposal--with this flimsy proof point about the 'science' of hen housing. Um, isn't it more about animal welfare than science?

“As we have examined this issue over the years, we have deter­mined that there is no agreement in the global scientific com­munity about how to balance the advantages and disadvantages of laying hen housing systems,” McDonald's said in a proxy statement.

Another non-green wonder

From the wondrously postmodern, reticent and stylized prose of Don DeLillo's Americana.

"New England is the most sexless place in the atmosphere," Sullivan said. "It has the sex appeal of Hyde Park in London on a warm afternoon when they all take off their shirts and collapse on the grass and then you understand why they had to go to Africa to get their kicks."

Gem of the day


UNEP's transcendent description of the Ecosystem Management subprogramme:

"The subprogramme will promote subregional ecosystem assessments, cross-sectoral policy integration, participatory decision-making,technological innovations, economic processes and environment and development linkages."

4.13.2010

Another non-green wonder

It's a case of horribly mistaken identity. An attempt at visionary and grassroots-driven leadership gone awry. It is, in fact, an unwitting promotion of one of the most well-known climate messages by--gasp--a Tory. This is just too good.

The strapline of David Cameron's Conservative Manifesto, which was released today, is none other than the following declaration:

"We are all in this together". Sound familiar to anyone? How about Oxfam, the Climate Group's Together campaign, and even a Miley Cyrus song.

So thanks, David. You're following in the footsteps of some fine environmentalists.

Gem of the day


Here's an initiative I'm so excited about I can barely contain myself. Oh, and I'm actually serious about this one.

However shocking it is to admit, apparently most Euros and Brits aren't familiar with the American legend Jimmy Buffett. It should suffice to say he made songs in the 80s that now cater to a mid-50s post-hippie crowd which include Boat Drinks ("Boat drinks, waitress I need some more boat drinks") and I Wish Lunch Could Last Forever ("The place down the block/the one with no clock"). And, of course, Margaritaville.

Well, the Virgina-based firm Strategic Sustainability Consulting actually has as a case study on their website a Green Office Audit for Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville offices in blissful Key West, Florida. This is a must-read, kids. If only for the introductory paragraph:

"It's hard to hear the word Margaritaville without the melody 'Wasting away again in Margaritaville...' drifting to mind. But Margaritaville is trying to convince its employees and customers not to 'waste away' if they can help it."

4.12.2010

Another non-green wonder


This non-environmental gem can be dubbed 'Only in the American South'. Last week, Governor Bob McDonnell (R-Va.) announced his intention to declare "Confederate History Month". Awkward. But even more deranged was his plan to do this without acknowledging the role of slavery.

An underwhelming level of protest has issued forth since. But luckily, McDonnell could count on a fellow conservative genius, Governor Haley Barbour (R-Miss.) to back him up with this wondrous statement:

"It's trying to make a big deal out of something that doesn't amount to diddly," Barbour said on the controversy.

Gem of the day


I love Joe Romm but his Xtreme blogging style of blinding repostes and aggressive analysis sometimes makes me tear up. That being said, his post on uber-greenwasher Husky Energy is not to be missed.

Husky has developed a 10% ethanol fuel blend--yes that's right, only 10%, which is pretty standard in the American market at this point--and is branding it as follows: 'Mother Nature's Fuel: better for your car, better for the environment and better for the community.' And get this, one of their supporting proof points for the environmental dimension is this whopper:

'By using Ethanol-blended Mother Nature's Fuel, you help conserve Canada's non-renewable petroleum resources.' Say what? Conservation of petroleum resources? I needn't say anything more.

How will this phenomenal episode be resolved? Romm concludes "Mother Nature needs to hire a good attorney."

4.09.2010

Bonus gem

Courtesy of a long and drawn-out examination of the New York Times' racism debacle during the past decade, in the New York Review of Books.

'"Diversity" is not a subject for light amusement in America. It is a subject that Americans take to the Supreme Court.'

Gem of the day

Deloitte has just published a first-ever CSR report (that's too easy to comment on, so we'll just let it go). And basically it looks like the company is expending most of its energy wielding the financial stick over its employees, with the lame goal of encouraging incremental innovations in transport (very, very incremental). We proceed from the first highly ambiguous statement: "Various Deloitte offices are trying different methods to reduce the company’s impact on emissions from commuting" to see that Deloitte Germany is implementing the following initiative:

"A tiered incentive program that sets a minimum efficiency level. Cars that do not surpass a higher threshold must pay about $3,000. By choosing a high-efficiency model, however, partners and directors can get a one-time bonus of about $6,000."

So if I buy a Toyota Corolla and I work at the German office I can get about half the cost of the car directly rebated? Sounds great, now I don't have to transform my concept of mobility at all by biking and walking and potentially getting back in touch with nature and biodiversity. Or heaven forbid, using the lowly bus. Thanks, Deloitte!

...and of course this is a topic for a future post, but it ain't hard to tell this kind of initiative is directly in the interest of allowing Deloitte to make measurable progress on emissions reduction targets it has established per employee. All in the service of praying to the numbers, folks.

4.08.2010

Gem of the day


This is actually beyond gem status, it's a true jewel. Greenpeace has put out a phenomenal report showing that Koch Industries spent millions of dollars over the last decade to fund all kinds of skechy climate denier groups. Koch's predictably dubious response, on its website, actually provides four links to supportive news articles, ingeniously dubbed 'Other Voices' from--get this--the Examiner and some unbelievable organization titled Wichita Liberty, which calls itself 'the voice for liberty, limited government, and free markets in Wichita and Kansas'.

Corporate communications just doesn't get any better than this.

4.07.2010

Another non-green wonder


In the words of ever-eloquent USA Today, "hey, there's always time for a good Rahm Emanuel joke". But this actually happened:

U.S., Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton told reporters that President Obama has offered to "send Rahm Emanuel to Moscow" to help move things along.

"We all immediately endorsed that offer," added the former first lady, who worked and occasionally argued with Emanuel back when he worked in Bill Clinton's White House. "So you know, if President Medvedev wants to take us up on it, we're ready."

4.06.2010

Bonus gem

More bottled water joy. This one comes courtesy of a dubious company called Planet Green Bottle (very James Bond/Quantum of Solace villain-inspired). This operation is so twisted I'm just going to let excerpts from its website speak for themselves. And if you're looking for a real kick, just check out their press releases here. Whoever wrote them better not be pursuing a career in media relations.

"Our personnel draw from a well of globally experienced senior executives and concerned “eco advocates” poised to challenge conventional thought with our approach to the waste management of PET plastics."

"We will begin a paradigm shift in thinking and action."

"At the Planet Green Bottle Corporation we are going to do our part by accelerating the biodegradation of PET plastic bottles to hasten their demise as CO 2 and water. That’s what we plan to do. Every single plastic bottle counts!"

And, finally, there are the cartoonish ads featuring the slogan "Saving the planet, one bottle at a time." Anybody noticing the issue at hand here? Hint, it involves the fact that the company is only 'greening' the actual bottle, not the absurdly wasteful process of bottling water and shipping it around the globe...

Gem of the day

In honor of the company, let's call it the Kohler approach: run one ad in National Geographic bragging about Kohler's "commitment to creating water-saving products", simultaneously run a different ad in Wired magazine showcasing a luxury shower that simulates the drenching power of a category five hurricane.

The visual evidence is here.