6.30.2010

Gem of the day

Why is this the current headline on Environmental Leader? Does this at all exemplify leadership?

"Starbucks Recycling Cups at Chicago, Seattle Stores"

6.29.2010

Bonus gem


Guess who's headlining the BSR conference this year?

Hugh Grant.

Chairman, President, and CEO, Monsanto Company

Gem of the day

Brace yourselves. The Washington Post actually published this whopper of an article today in their dubious Green Lantern weekly feature:

"Which oil companies are more eco-friendly than the rest?"

Better yet, it opens with this revelation:

"Back in April, a reader asked which gas station was the most eco-friendly choice, and BP came out pretty high on the Lantern's list."

Whoopsies.

So what's the logic behind this article again?

"Regardless, few of the Lantern's pals are hanging up their car keys anytime soon. So it may be worth asking how BP fares in comparison to the rest of the world's oil suppliers."

Their methodology:

"The Lantern scanned the last three years of annual sustainability reports put out voluntarily by the six supermajor oil companies and by smaller refiners."

So basically the Lantern is founding this comparison on a once-over of the voluntary CSR reports of companies that, lest we forget, went so far as to provide hollow compliance reports to the US government. Anyone sensing a flaw here?

Finally, the article concludes with a hearty dose of support for incremental innovation:

"Whichever station you use, it's important to remember one thing: The road trip that's best for the planet is the shortest one."

I rest my case.

6.28.2010

Bonus gem

Hot off the presses: the ATCA actually took the time to publish this survey, actual email text below:

Dear Friends

[Please note that the views presented by individual contributors are not necessarily representative of the views of ATCA, which is neutral. ATCA conducts collective Socratic dialogue on global opportunities and threats. Please do not forward, copy or print ATCA Briefings for dissemination without permission and full attribution.]

Quick Poll: Is The Gulf Oil Gusher A Worldwide Crisis?
Is the Gulf oil gusher a worldwide crisis and not just a US issue? Yes or No.

1. You can cast your vote by visiting http://ow.ly/23GHs

Please scroll down to the end of the briefing to see the "Quick Poll" section.

2. After you vote, the screen will show you the result so far.

3. We would be keen to hear from you in regard to your views of the result.

Gem of the day

I'm starting to think all future gems (or at least for the next month or so) will be sourced simply by googling 'BP reputation'. Here's what the landscape of superficial commentary looks like this morning:

-"BP boss gets his life back but not his reputation"

-"BP brand may be tarnished for good"

-"CSR May Help Build a Good Reputation, But Can't Salvage a Brutal One"

-"BP leaking cash as oil spill harms reputation"

To all the people who mistakenly passed a few hours or days of their lives penning these pieces of filfthy fluff, here's what I have to say: don't do it again. As George W. once avowed, 'fool me once...'

6.25.2010

Another non-environmental wonder

Courtesy of Rolling Stone's mind-blowing profile of our lovely Iraqi [former general] McChrystal:

"How'd I get screwed into going to this dinner?" demands Gen. Stanley McChrystal. It's a Thursday night in mid-April, and the commander of all U.S. and NATO forces in Afghanistan is sitting in a four-star suite at the Hôtel Westminster in Paris.

"The dinner comes with the position, sir," says his chief of staff, Col. Charlie Flynn.

McChrystal turns sharply in his chair.

"Hey, Charlie," he asks, "does this come with the position?"

McChrystal gives him the middle finger.

6.24.2010

Another non-environmental wonder


Warning: this non-environmental wonder is Above and Beyond. Harken, the future of capitalism, for former [disgraced] lobbyist Jack Abramoff is now...

Working in a pizzeria in Baltimore.

The Times reports Abramoff "has so far stayed largely cloistered in a back office" and earns "between $7.50 and $10 an hour".

For those of you who have extreme short-term--aka D.C.-style--memories, Abramoff is 'that guy' who famously conspired with his fellow white male colleagues to defraud Native American casinos out of an estimated $85 million in fees, in some instances by secretly lobbying against them and then forcing them to pay for lobbying services.

I have no more to say on the matter.

Gem of the day


In this gem episode, multinational Bayer teaches us what sustainable development looks like.

Duly noted by blogger Elaine Cohen, who adds in a scathing riposte "Not even one of them that LOOKS LIKE a woman."

6.22.2010

Bonus gem


Keith Olbermann officially achieves status of 'God'.

Gem of the day

Thanks to GreenBiz for furnishing us with yet another wondrous gem. This one presents, unbelievably enough, '10 Rhymes to Remember for Sustainable Water Management'. For those of you (most of you) that will undoubtedly lack the motivation to actually click on that link, reproduced below:

1. Zero is Not Always the Hero
2. The Trends Are Not Our Friends
3. Steady State is Out of Date
4. If You Treasure It, You'll Measure It
5. Focus on the Size of the Prize

My fingers grow weary as I type these inane phrases so I'm just going to stop now. But really, GreenBiz? Really?

6.21.2010

Another non-environmental wonder


PR isn't superficial. It's just vapid and shallow.

Gem of the day


Dear Tracy at The Telegraph,

Thank you for producing one of the greatest headlines of all time today.

"Tony Hayward, dead man sailing"

...BP described his outing to the Yacht Club inexplicably as “a rare moment of private time”.

Relax, Tony--have a top-shelf cocktail on the US, you've already cost us enough money as it is.

6.18.2010

Gem of the day


A brief review of today's US headlines on Tony Hayward's appearance in Congress yesterday:

-"BP Chief Hayward on Hot Seat" (Wall Street Journal)
-"Lawmakers take shots at BP CEO" (USA Today)
-"Apologies, anger at BP hearing" (Washington Post)
-"BP’s Chief Offers Answers, but Not to Liking of House Committee" (New York Times)
-And nothing in the LA Times. Why? Because the Lakers won last night. And that means all of California is parading through the streets in a frenzy of flip-flops, Starbucks and sunglasses. Oil spill, schmill.

6.17.2010

Bonus gem


BP CEO Hayward faces the bloodlust of the dirty national media before testifying before the House Energy and Commerce Subcommittee on Oversight and Investigations today. Thank you, New York Times.

Gem of the day

Dear Danny Rogers at PRWeek,

Thanks for 'weighing in' on the effects of the oil spill on BP's reputation. It's so much more of a salient issue than, for example, the clean-up effort or the regulatory implications or the future of the global energy supply. When you write that in recent weeks the company's reputation "was under the sort of American verbal assault last experienced by the Taliban", there's no doubt that's a real zinger--I mean, wow. I don't think any of the other professional commentary I've come across has used such an eye-popping analogy.

But Danny, what makes your article a must-read is that you really take it to the next level with this statement:

"CEO Tony Hayward has taken a level of flak that must make even a highly paid executive wonder if his career was worth all the effort."

You're right, Danny--he's taken the flak and he really, really just wants his life back.

We'll stand by for the next reputational impact, as you identify it: "The operational errors are about to be scrutinised by US Congress at heavier reputational cost." Here's to hoping those Senators can't find their glasses.

6.16.2010

Gem of the day

Highlight of @bpglobalpr response to Obama's speech last night:

"The President had a chart outlining his battle plan, but @bpTerry ate it."

6.15.2010

Bonus gem


The 5 oil executives are being grilled in Congress right at this moment. New York Times reporter John Broder, who is in the room for the hearing, notes that Energy Committee Chairman Markey's statement gave these examples of how apparently outdated the oil company plans for dealing with spills in the Gulf of Mexico appear to be:

Like BP, three other companies include references to protecting walruses, which have not called the Gulf of Mexico home for 3 million years. Two other plans are such dead ringers for BP's that they list a phone number for the same long-dead expert.

Uber-gem


This is how we do it in America, folks.

Hooters is is helping to clean up British Petroleum's oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico by donating used pantyhose: 100,000 pairs, to be exact.

Gem of the day


Dean Blanchard, the local shrimp king of Louisiana and owner of the third biggest shrimp docks in the world which supply 11% of the US shrimp supply, on the BP clean-up:

"I could take two 32oz Big Gulp cups from the 7-Eleven and do more than what they are doing."

...and on what CEO Tony Hayward should expect:

"I am going to hunt that son of a bitch down like a 'coon," he said.

6.14.2010

Bonus bonus gem


When I say that CSR rankings are becoming increasingly useless, this is exactly what I mean. British American Tobacco received a platinum rating in the 2009 UK Business in the Community Corporate Responsibility Index with a score of 96.5 per cent, confirming that the Group "is one of Britain’s most responsible businesses."

And it gets even better from there. Here's what the illustrious Business in the Community had to say at the time about this mind-blowing ranking:

"Stephen Howard, Chief Executive, Business in the Community said: “I congratulate British American Tobacco. At a time when trust and confidence in businesses is at an all time low, it is examples like this that will help to demonstrate that some businesses are taking their responsibilities seriously and that it makes business sense.”

Could it be because they produced a really nice, deviously constructed CSR report in 2009?

Another non-environmental wonder

Headline in the FT today about Africa:

"Continent drives a harder bargain."

Bonus gem


To add to the plethora of wondrous quotes emerging on BP today. This one comes courtesy of our flame-throwing 1990s Democratic champion, James Carville:

"We are being invaded, but in this instance it’s not Al Qaeda or the Japanese, it’s just a hideous, greasy, stupid slick of oil that can’t adjust to our tactics, so why the secrets?"

Gem of the day

“Given recent volatility in BP share price, I’m told that information related to top kill is now considered stock-market sensitive, which means it has to be managed under disclosure rules for the London and N.Y. stock exchanges,” the BP media official said in an e-mail message. “In a nutshell, that means all investors must be provided information on an equal basis. That precludes me from sending you updates as various aspects of the operation unfold.”

6.11.2010

Another non-environmental wonder



The front page of 'Metro' today.

Uber-gem of the day

Highlights from the Greenpeace BP logo redesign competition. You can imagine the results (a whopping 1,000 entries thus far), but reproduced below, some of my favorites:




6.10.2010

Another non-environmental wonder

The Feds miss out on a few billion. This story approaches tragedy, but it's more like a tragic farce--the phenomenal lack of political logic that makes the Senate Finance Committee kind of look like the Gulf of Mexico Jr.

Bonus gem


The response from @bpglobalpr to BP's request that it acknowledge it is just a fake:

“We are not associated with Beyond Petroleum, the company that has been destroying the Gulf of Mexico for 51 days."

And it even gets better from there. They suggest:

"Will Twitter please shut down @BP_America - no one can tell if it's a joke!"

Indeed. Recent @BP_America posts, from the actual PR team at BP, have been at best tepid and at worst condescending pieces of fluff. Highlights include:

"Ride along with @uscoastguard Commandant Adm Papp as he takes his first flight over the #oilspill site."
"BP's Bob Dudley talks about thoughts & feelings of #BP employees in Louisiana with Gov. Jindal earlier this week: http://bit.ly/bPWi0e"
"Take a look inside the Command Center as this diverse team works together 24/7 to respond to the oil spill. (via @CNN) http://bit.ly/cLbYLH"

Another non-environmental wonder

The Daily Mail has done it again with this brilliant 'opinion piece': Stop asking me for charity money! No explanation needed for why this is worthy of gem status, but I'll reproduce one of the key highlights below anyway:

'I hate it when my friends ask me to donate,' my colleague Belinda tells me. Belinda explains: 'I understand that doing a sponsored run or walk or swim for a specific charity can be incredibly meaningful and cathartic if you've lost a relative to the disease the event's for, but please don't lay a guilt trip about it on me just to get me to sponsor you. It makes it very awkward.'

6.09.2010

Bonus gem

Oh my god.

Another non-environmental wonder


Welcome to the American Mid-term elections:

"A bruising Republican primary race for the South Carolina nomination for governor was forced into a runoff of its own. Nikki Haley, a state legislator, overcame accusations of marital infidelity but fell just short of claiming an outright majority of votes."

Gem of the day

Kudos to UNEP for providing us with yet another gem. This one here, ladies and gentleman, is suggested text to describe the challenges of Environmental Governance:

"The greater interaction and interconnectedness between nations, economies and people requires new global, regional, national and local responses involving a wider group of stakeholders to better manage environmental threats, particularly those that cross political borders such as air pollution and biodiversity loss."

6.04.2010

Gem of the day


Crisis of the day: Ogilvy needs some new case studies. Because, well, yeah:

"Our recommendation was to position BP as a new type of global energy company -- one that confronts difficult issues like the conflict between energy and environmental needs and takes action beyond what is expected."

How long will it take them to tear down this case study? Any estimates?

6.03.2010

Bonus gem


The creator of @bpglobalpr on the future of corporate social responsibility:

"You know the best way to get the public to respect your brand? Have a respectable brand."

And on the current CSR landscape:

"Right now, PR is all about brand protection. All I'm suggesting is that we use that energy to work on human progression. Until then, I guess we've still got jokes."

Gem of the day

Headline in the FT today:

"Mood upbeat in clamour for African coal"

6.02.2010

Uber-gem of the day


In recognition of this Uber-gem, I'm just going to go ahead and faithfully reproduce Joe Romm's take on BP hiring Anne Womack-Kolton to be their new spokeswoman.

"You just can’t make this stuff up. In the dumbest PR move since Tiger Woods (temporarily) hired Ari Fleischer, the much-maligned former Bush Administration press secretary,” to try to reconstruct his image, BP has hired a former top aide for Vice President Dick Cheney to be their new spokeswoman."

Romm continues his ingenius rant to point out the 'logic' behind the decision: "So what does a company that is starting to make Goldman Sachs seem like Ben & Jerry’s do to restore its hemorrhaging image? Why, it hires someone who’s an expert in working with people with single-digit popularity."

Womack-Kolton specializes in 'high-stakes communications'. Now there's a glowing resume.

6.01.2010

Gem of the day


Fun Googling of oil companies has unearthed another temple to incremental innovation. Here lieth Total's initiative, Total Ecosolutions, which actually reproduces word for word the terminology of incremental innovation:

"Leveraging innovation to serve continuous improvement, the Total Ecosolutions program is aimed at developing products and services to help our customers — both businesses and consumers — to reduce their energy use and their environmental footprint."

Good times. And how do they salute the progress of their tepid project? Ah yes, with the classic [ab]use of an analogy to an emissions reduction achievement that didn't actually occur:

"Our estimates show that using the 13 Total Ecosolutions products and services instead of the reference products and services would avoid carbon dioxide equivalent emissions of 500,000 metric tons a year. That works out the same as emissions from 160,000 vehicles in a year."

And so, with the help of these 13 wondrous products and services, all of which would happily live in the pages of any Don DeLillo novel--chainsaw oils, water-based adhesives or the foreboding'Lumicene® polypropylene', anyone?--Total takes some appropriately small steps towards sustainable development. Appropriate, that is, for a company whose core business strategy is fundamentally unsustainable.

More updates on some of Total's more high-profile climate change campaigns to come.