Gem of the day

To whoever came up with the following, which wins the unofficial award for Best Hopelessly Ambiguous Definition of the Week: The UN is calling. They have a job for you.

ENVIRONMENTAL GOVERNANCE can be defined or characterized as:

1. Multi-level interactions (i.e., local, national, international/global) among, but not limited to, three main actors, i.e., state, market, and civil society, which interact with one another, whether in formal and informal ways;

2.in formulating and implementing policies in response to environment-related demands and inputs from the society;

3.bound by rules, procedures, processes, and widely-accepted behavior;

4.possessing characteristics of “good governance”;

5.for the purpose of attaining environmentally-sustainable development.

Bonus gem

Someone has created a fake Twitter account, @BPGlobalPR. It's genius.

http://twitter.com/BPGlobalPR

Gem of the day

Thank you to Lamont C. Hempel, whoever and wherever you are, for abusing a Gary Snyder poem to dramatize the already sensational introduction to your book on Global Environmental Governance:

'The rising bills, the slopes,
of statistics
lie before us.
the steep climb
of everything, going up
as we all
go down.'


Bummer.

Bonus gem

More on the BP irresponsibility saga. Now we begin to see direct linkage between their evasion of even the most basic duties as a corporate citizen, and the future of their business:

"The EPA said in a statement that, according to its regulations, it can consider banning BP from future contracts after weighing 'the frequency and pattern of the incidents, corporate attitude both before and after the incidents, changes in policies, procedures, and practices.'”

Just to put that ban in perspective, BP is the largest oil and gas producer in the Gulf of Mexico and operates some 22,000 oil and gas wells across United States, many of them on federal lands or waters. They produce 39 percent of the company’s global revenue from oil and gas production each year – $16 billion. Now there's a loss.

Gem of the day

The New York Times furnishes us with a dramatic description of the fall-out from BP:

"The Gulf of Mexico oil spill has thwarted the industry’s well-control efforts and driven government officials to impotent rage."

Gem of the day

Another mind-blowing description from UNEP. This is how, apparently, their communications work on climate change happens:

"UNEP supports the user targeted dissemination of climate change information to national-level policymakers and negotiators, major groups and stakeholders, the private sector and the public. It seeks to ensure decision-makers, those who advise them and those whose views influence them all have access to relevant climate change science and information to help guide coherent policy making, by raising awareness and conducting outreach, education and training and by communicating successful climate change programmes to key stakeholders to share best practice."

Bonus gem

Middle-aged sustainability bonding moment.

Uber-gem of the day

“Why did this have to happen to us?” BP CEO Tony Hayward keeps asking plaintively, as if by repeating the question he could milk some kind of philosophical empathy out of his horrified spectators.

Here’s what I have to say to BP: I dare you to put out a CSR report next year. And if you do, I’ll be most interested to see what it looks like.

Another non-environmental wonder

Yes.

Bonus gem

Every so often I start the day by skimming the green business PR shell that is Environmental Leader and massively regret it. Today is one of those days. Here's just a selection of the more devastatingly lame headlines that greeted me upon my homepage landing:

-"Library Lights Way Toward Sustainable Future"
-"Ford Highlights Volunteer Efforts"
-"Big O Tires Installs 50-kw Solar Power System"

And finally, the cherry on top of the cake is this headline, which is actually depressing in a legitimate way:

-"NJ Solar Rebate Program Runs out of Money in One Day"

Seriously?

Gem of the day

Christiana Figueres, the lead climate negotiator for Costa Rica and purported future head of the United Nations’ climate secretariat, on the reality of the climate challenge:

"It’s all a question of where are you sitting and drinking your coffee."

Another non-environmental wonder

Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, describing the scramble to form a coalition government this past week:

“Ludicrous skulduggery going on behind the scenes with cloak-and-dagger assignations.”

Gem of the day

This is literally how UNEP describes the goal of its REDD+ program (Reducing Emissions from Deforestation and Forest Degradation in Developing Countries):

"Support the development of and the acceleration to a transition to an equitable, low terrestrial-carbon growth path."

Another non-green wonder

The faces of the US oil industry.

From left, Lamar McKay, president of BP America; Steven Newman, president and chief executive of Transocean Limited; and Tim Probert, president of Global Business Lines and a leading Halliburton officer, testified Tuesday before a Senate committee.

Another non-green wonder

Sarah Palin tweeted this a few days ago:

"Happy Mother's Day! 'A mom is a person who seeing there are only 4 pieces of pie for 5 people,promptly announces she never did care for pie'"

Gem of the day

Finally! The luxury yacht industry goes green! Behold the sumptuous innovation that is The World's Greenest Superyacht, developed in earnest by Alistair Callendar of Coventry University. And what grand motivation lies behind his triumphant design?

"In this ever-increasing environmentally conscious time, I wanted to focus my attention on looking at possible solutions to some of the current problems associated with the superyacht industry," Callender said in a statement. "Eco-luxury should no longer be viewed as an oxymoron."

Wondrous.

Gem of the day

Tesco gets the trophy for Incremental Innovation of the Month.

Gem of the day

This information harkens back to March, but it's a striking example of how quickly the business of CSR is degenerating into a wasteland of ranking fluff. Swiss research firm Covalence released a ranking of the 12 Least Ethical Companies in the World, with our favorite agribusiness giant Monsanto coming in dead last. Bad news for the Monsanto corporate communications team.

And yet, phenomenally enough, last week CR Magazine gave Monsanto's comms team in the trenches a shovel to dig their way out with their inspired inclusion of the company in their 11th annaul '100 Best Corporate Citizens' report. Magically enough, Monsanto clocked in at #31 (O, how the bearers of the world's seeds have fallen since their reign at #23 last year. What's changed? More lawsuits against small farmers getting harder to ignore?)

So let's review: #31 on one list, #581 on another. Both based on publicly available data measured across a wide range of sustainability indicators. Now that's a gem.

Another non-environmental wonder

Mr. Clegg (center, with the especially fetching kneecaps and weary conceit) went to Westminster School and Cambridge; Mr. Cameron (center, with plump features and Ponce-y smile) to Eton and Oxford.


"Jobs at risk. Business at risk. The entire economy at risk." Gordon Brown, the clergy man's son.